On Thorsdays We
by Hrimige
Summary: Team bonding or giving Tony crap: is there any real difference? Hey, you know you'd be excited to have a day named after you. Thor certainly is. (Something of a sequel to The Literacy Initiative due to linguistics shenanigans. Timeline: before Iron Man 3 and Winter Soldier; not canon compliant with Age of Ultron.)


One day each week, if they're both in the tower, you can find Natasha and Thor hanging out near the communal kitchen to compare notes on languages, dead or modern. Of course it had to happen on a Thursday. And, worse, Tony opens his big mouth and sets them up.

He's glad for Thor's varied education since it gives Natasha an outlet for her soft-science linguistics nerd side. Note to self: have JARVIS look up that Latin she babbled at him while flouncing away, he keeps forgetting to confirm his theory that her translations hide pure snark-but when she and Thor get going? It's impenetrable jargon. That he's too busy doing useful science to decipher.

He could film them for the Literacy Initiative without them knowing, give their fanbases more fuel for either the incomprehensible 'shipping' or the hero worship of worthier linguist role models than boring old politicians who spout opinions on the side about language disguised as theories. Maybe he can get Natasha in a 'wug life' t-shirt for her next video reading session.

Thor has explained something called Allspeak as the source of his ability to come through a wormhole and communicate with the first sentient beings he sees, no problem. Universal Translators on _Star Trek_ aside, it's the kind of Asgardian science that makes his teeth hurt. And, like the cheesy concept of advanced machine translation, it sometimes fails spectacularly. It's only fair; Tony still has to learn other languages the hard way.

It isn't long after the first videos have gone up to all kinds of positive press when Tony drags himself out of his workshop after a marathon Patented Tony Stark Sleepless Science Session of doom. Because it's been so long, he has no idea what day it is. Bleary Tony is willing to engage in what appears to be small talk for data points. "What day is it?"

Natasha breaks off mid-sentence to say, "Thursday."

And wouldn't you know it, his AI who has Google, the NSA, and all the other secrets of the universe at his digital fingertips is learning linguistics from these two. Is JARVIS too intent on learning noun declensions to pay attention to Tony?

( _Here's how you decline nouns: no_ , Tony thinks.)

"Sir, were you aware that Thursday was named for the god of thunder?" Tony could take over the world and rename Sunday for himself. It's kind of useless trivia, the god of thunder living in his building like it's a timeshare aside.

Thor looks up at the ceiling. "Is this true?" he asks.

"It's considered a translation of another loaned term, _dios hemera_ , 'day of Zeus' according to several etymological websites," JARVIS says helpfully.

Tony thinks he's developing a twitch around these two. "I only speak business French and hey, it's way too late in the week for these kind of conversations," he says.

Natasha doesn't care how much it hurts his brain. "On Thor's day, we study etymology," she says through a grin of concentrated mischief.

Oh, no. Oh, very much no.

"I'm going to banhammer any and all linguistic discussions if the two of you destroy my tower," Tony says. He's seen Thor in full-on frat bro mode. The guy has no sense of his strength. Add in a little alcohol and enthusiasm and they are just plain fucked. Getting insurance to cover anything related to Tony Stark alone is hellacious nowadays.

And, yes, while he does a frat bro thing around the testosterone side of the team he's not _stupid_. Thor gives Tony one of those prince looks. He should maybe look over his shoulder to see if he's going to get zapped by a bolt of lightning.

"A thousand years from now, if people had named a day for you, would you not be flattered?" Thor asks.

"Hell, they should name a day after me as it is," Tony replies.

For a periodically creepy super-spy with a penchant for weird puns and awful pop culture references, she can make an awfully unladlylike snort.

Screw this, if they're going to give him nonstop crap he doesn't have to stick around and give them the stink-eye. They ignore pretty much everything he says if they don't riff off it, which is Tony's schtick in the first place.

It dawns on him that his mood and his blood sugar have had a rocky relationship over the years and maybe that's why he's getting extra grumpy with the language brigade. The sound of jargon that probably aren't even English derived follow him to the fridges that, if not for an entire team of supposed adults living on the top floors of his pet project, would instead have been a lovely bar with fingerprint-free mirrors and dozens of tasty concoctions just waiting for a cocktail glass. He pokes around the leftovers, some partially covered with plastic wrap, others sporting a layer of masking tape with the date, creator, and description in careful penmanship. Paparazzi magazines would kill for a look in these metal boxes. And there we go, he finds a forgotten blender experiment with the kinds of healthy things that taste horrendous singly or in a mashed mess but even Clint doesn't have the damaged taste buds to steal. He chugs it.

"All right, aren't you two supposed to be finding new texts for your vlog read-a-thons?"

Natasha shoots Thor a sly look. "Think there are some good academic papers on the reasons people might take a Greek phrase and translate it into their own language to match the home team's theology?"

"The terminology you bring up in these scribings seems out of reach for the audience we seek," Thor returns gently.

"Not everyone watching is the lowest common denominator. I bet we could get more girls into STEM with the right topics," Natasha says. "And if we keep the monolingual cavemen out-"

"Hey!" Tony says. He's not monolingual! He just doesn't speak dead languages. Write. Whatever. _Carpe circumspectatricem_ * and all that.

"-see?"

Thor tries to mollify them both at once with his hands up. It kind of looks like he's giving up at the same time. "Perhaps I can recount tales of the Rainbow Bridge for my channel. I am given to understand that it shows up in Midgardian poetry with strange new attributes."

Natasha nods wisely. "Canon non-compliant. We could do a video on textual analysis and how modern fanfiction compares to the Eddas."

Tony prepares to flee to his suite before he says something inappropriate because they're leaving themselves wide open on multiple fronts. JARVIS wouldn't dare continue to harass him with this topic while he tries to sleep, not with the paired professors out here to keep the AI occupied. He can't let them think he's admitting failure, though. He levels a stern finger at them. "Don't destroy my kitchen with your analysis, or you're voted off the island," he says.

"Good night, Tony," Natasha says with a wink. She dives back into the discussion, probably picking up right where she left off earlier because spy magic.

"I get veto power!" Tony calls over his shoulder on the way out.

[* 'seize the spy' if you dare trust my Latin, which you shouldn't.] [for more information on Thor and Thursday, please see EtymOnline or your favorite dictionary]


End file.
